Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher :- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat :- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist :- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist :- A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in RO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser :- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father :- A banker provided by nature.

Criminal :- A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Tears :- The hydraulic force by which masculine "will-power" is defeated by feminine water power...

Lecture :- An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference :- The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :- The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary :- A place where divorce comes before marriage

Conference Room :- A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic :- A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office :- A place where most of us can relax after our strenuous home life.

Yawn :- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience :- The name men give to their mistakes.

Bank Cashier :- The richest person in the world if all the money he counted during his lifetime was his ! !

Politician :- One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and also kills you with his bills.

Software Engineer :- One who gets paid for reading such mails !!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh